Going out with the Missionaries

Yesterday I had the opportunity to accompany the Sister Missionaries to a lesson they were teaching to a young mother in my area. I had been with them once before to this lady, and was excited to go with them again. I served as a missionary myself more than 5 years ago, and going with the Sisters to an appointment not as the missionary, but as a friend, or member, really is a different experience. Mr. N and I have been discussing missionary work a bit. It is something that is important to us, but also something that is really intimidating to do. Most of the people that surround us in our day-to-day lives are not of our faith, so there is ample opportunity to share the gospel. It’s just so intimidating! So, anyways, we are trying to be better at missionary work because we really want our children to see that it is important to us. We want them to know that this gospel that we are a part of is true, and that we want to share it with others, not just fulfill our member responsibilities. Mr. N is so much better at sharing the gospel with those around him than I am. He’s handed out a Book of Mormon to a friend at school and always answers questions when asked, or tells about doing stuff with church over the weekend. Even in the way he lives…I think there are just 2 or 3 other students who actually have families and children. I really admire his attitude because he never cares about what people think…he just shares. I'm always worried about what people think. I need to get over that.

So, back to missionary work. We’re trying…or maybe I should say I’m trying to be better at missionary work. This lady the Sisters are teaching is great. I’ll call her Pam. She told the sisters that she was raised in a certain religion, but it never felt right to her. She felt forced and felt something was missing. She said most of her life she just ignored it, but recently she was really wanting to know what was true, because she felt that the religion she was raised in was lacking. About the time that she started praying about what was true, the Sister Missionaries knocked on her door. I love hearing about things like that! She listened to the sisters and told them she felt so calm and peaceful about things with them, that she wanted to know more. Anyways, yesterday when I went with the Sisters was the second time I’d gone to see her. The Missionaries shared about the Restoration of the Gospel and about how at the time of Christ the Church of Jesus Christ was established on the earth. After the death of Christ the church continued under the direction of Revelation to the Prophet (Peter). Eventually there was a great apostasy and the apostles and prophet were killed and the truth was lost from the earth. People still sought the truth, but there was no longer the foundation of Apostles and Prophets guided under the direction of Revelation from our Father in Heaven. In an attempt to have truth, different religions came to light, each having parts of the truth, but none complete as was the Church of Jesus Christ. They shared Amos 8: 11-12 that says “Behold, the days come, saith the Lord God, that I will send a famine in the land, not a famine of bread, nor a thirst for water, but of hearing the words of the Lord: And they shall wander from sea to sea, and from the north even to the east, they shall run to and fro to seek the word of the Lord, and shall not find it.” That hunger from the Spiritual famine upon the earth was necessary. It was prepatory to the restoration of the gospel, and is a hunger that is still felt by people who are seeking truth. Pam could really relate to feeling hungry for truth, and so could I. I’ve been raised in this religion, but by no means does that mean I haven’t had to go through a conversion process myself, haven’t had to hunger, seek, and find. I still go through it whenever I slack on reading my scriptures or saying my prayers. When I do so I can eventually start to feel something in missing, and as I turn back to the Lord, I find what I was seeking and no longer hunger. At the close of the discussion the Sisters shared with Pam the importance of reading the scriptures and highlighted some particular scriptures that illustrated what they discussed. Pam, like everyone else, related how hard it was to find time to do her reading. She was struggling with a teething toddler and all the other stressors of life and found it hard to make time. I found I could also instantly relate to her feelings. For about a year after L was born I hardly read my scriptures. Well, really if I’m honest with myself even since I got pregnant with M I haven’t read my scriptures much. I was so sick. Then I was so busy with learning to be a mom. Then I got pregnant again and I was just as sick and had a baby at home. Then L was born and I was twice as busy. Then when L was getting close to a year old I decided I needed to make a change. I was yelling at my kids far too much and everything I was doing to try to handle the stress of motherhood was not working. If I could get up earlier to go running in the morning, surly I could wake up a bit earlier to read my scriptures too. And maybe that would help. I dreaded getting up earlier because I was already exhausted, but I had faith the Lord would make me equal to it. I started trying to read my scriptures each morning along with exercising, but it was hit and miss. Usually the girls would wake up before I could really start to read. Then I read an ensign article one morning by Elder Yoshihiko Kikuchi of the Seventy about making time for a morning devotional. He said to rise each morning, exercise, bath and get ready, pray to the Lord and then read your scriptures. He said, "I know from personal experience the spiritual power that can flow into your life if you follow this practice. You will feel the love of God and a cleansing, purifying regeneration of your spirit. You will experience moments of revelation, when the Spirit whispers to your spirit what you need to do to be a better father, a better mother, a better son or daughter, a better disciple of Jesus Christ." I decided those were things I needed and that I would do it, even though it meant getting up a bit earlier still. Since then I have done much much better in my scripture reading. I’ve also gotten much much better at not yelling at my kids and handling the stress of motherhood. I’m more patient (I think…) and when stressful things happen I can relax more quickly or even attempt to think the words of a hymn. I still loose my temper sometimes, but I really think I am doing better. I find on the days I miss my run and scripture reading and get and hour or so more of sleep I actually do worse than on days that I make sure I make time for the Lord. It doesn’t add up, but I’ve found through my 28 years that that is often the case. The things of the Lord don’t often add up. Like tithing. We can’t afford to not pay it because when we do pay our tithing the Lord blesses us. We’ve seen it far too often to doubt it. We can’t afford to not pay our tithing. Just like somehow getting less sleep in an effort to make sure I am devoting a part of my day to the Lord makes me a better mother. Back to the story…the Sister’s were sharing the importance of reading and I felt I needed to share a little of the experience I just illustrated above with her. I put it off the first time. The second time I felt the prompting I went ahead and bore my testimony of reading and studying the scriptures and how it has helped me as a mother and a person. As I bore my testimony I knew I was really sharing things I believed because I had been where she was (i.e. feeling like I don’t have time for it) and had felt the blessings of the Lord in my life. I knew I truly had a testimony of it. After I shared my testimony Pam said she thought she could make a little time in the morning and that she needed to remember that she didn’t have to devote hours, but that a little time would suffice, even just reading a page. She also said she could use more patience as a mother.

Later I was thinking about the experiences I had had about gaining a testimony of the importance of my early morning devotional time and how it really has helped me as a mother, and I was so grateful that I had had the experience. If I had not gone through these things myself and felt the truth of them and seen the improvement in my own life, I could not have given the honest testimony I gave to Pam. I could easily have said the same words, but they would have been without the same conviction because I would have been drawing from experiences prior to becoming a mother. I had personally felt the power prior to this of scripture reading and how it helped me when I was single, when I was a missionary, or when I was married without children. But I wouldn’t have been able to honestly bear testimony to the importance of the power that comes from scripture reading and how it helps me as a mother. I really am grateful for this gospel. I know it’s true. I often shy away from making public declarations like that because “it’s not politically correct” or it may offend someone. But it’s true. I know that. I have a wonderful husband who knows that too. I'm grateful to be able to share what I know. I hope that maybe, somehow our experiences can help others too. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is for everyone.

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