Can I just say I'm tired. Adjustment to anything major and new has always been difficult for me. Marriage, baby #1, baby #2... Baby L is a good sleeper, so we are lucky in that regard. Its just so tiring! Our predictable life no longer exists.
I miss it!
I realize of course the necessity of change in life and progression. Its just that the adjustment is hard. Maybe its just hard for my personality. My mom is a real "roll with the punches" kind of gal. When she was here I asked her if adjustment to motherhood was hard for her either time. She just kept saying, "I don't really remember. I never really thought about it." (or something to that effect). She pointed out (and I realize this about myself) that I like predictability and routine. Maybe that's why the parenthood adjustment is always hard for me. With M the adjustment was very hard. I was adjusting to motherhood, no sleep, the needs of a newborn, nursing... All that stuff. This time it has been much easier and harder at the same time. I love having a sweet, precious little newborn in our home. I love looking at her face, seeing her take in her little world, hearing her cry when she's hungry (her bottom lip quivers when she really cries...it's ADORABLE!), feeling her grab on when she gets scared (she has a VERY strong startle reflex). What has been hard this time is trying to meet her needs and M's needs. I still don't know how to do it. How do you meet all the needs of a newborn and still play, read, and do all the other stuff with your toddler? Poor Little M gets so frustrated because she has all this pent up energy, but we can't just go out so she can run around. Other's have offered to take her out, but the selfish part of me wants to be the one doing these things with her. I wish we had a yard!
Here you can see her lip quiver as she cries. This was right after she was born!
This afternoon we got back from walking to the grocery store and I quickly threw dinner together so it could bake in the oven while I did all the other stuff I had to do. Half way through that L realized she was starving so she was screaming. I threw dinner in the oven and then went to feed her. While feeding her I shared a snack with M and tried to keep the TV remotes away from her (she's become obsessed!). When L was done eating I burped her and got up to take dinner out. L started crying again so I picked her up and she spit up so massively that we all ended up needing a shower and change of clothes.
Bath #1: Baby L
Bath #2: Little M
Two diapers and three changes of clothes later. I tried to lay L down for a nap, and have dinner for M and I while she slept. She wouldn't sleep. Finally they are both down. I'm tired. The house is a wreck, the dishes aren't done and dinner's still sitting on the stove not put away...but everyone's still alive.
Does that count as a success?
I'm so glad though that I have a fantastic husband who is willing to come home and be home with the family. He is there for us.
So, anyways...I started this post with the intention of saying sorry for not really reading or commenting on other people's blogs. Here and there I get the chance to read blogs, but commenting takes longer so I usually don't. Hopefully things will settle down soon.
10 comments:
TOTALLY a success. Only tomorrow, end your day with your feet up and eat an entire peanut butter pie made from coolwhip. I think you'll feel better. :)
Give yourself some time to adjust! This will take time, so don't stress over little things and pick your battles. You're a GREAT MOM with such BEAUTIFUL daughters!
Adjusting to motherhood was REALLY rough for me, too, but I only had the one! I hope you are doing ok with the girls and thank goodness for helpful husbands who can be there. And I agree with the previous comment, except that you should have someone make it for you and just bring it by for you to enjoy all to yourself.
I wish you luck in these crazy first few weeks with your new baby girl. Also, the movie quote is from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.
I know it is hard to adjust! You are doing such a great job though, I am sure of it. Just a little time, and a lot of patience, and you will have a whole new "predictable" routine. I am the same way. I hate to have a wrench thrown into my way of life. :-) Love you and if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I am only one online chat away! He he. Take care.
Kirstin
Thanks so much everyone. Its nice knowing I'm not the only one who had a hard time adjusting. Sometimes I feel like I should never be frazzled (I dont think I spelled that right) by anything or ever get frustrated. Its good to know I'm not alone!
Remember that Little L is only 3 weeks old -- it ALWAYS takes me 6 weeks to feel "normal" again. You will find your "predictable life" again -- I promise!!! :-)
There are so many little tasks that a mother does each day. To me, success is achieved when my children know that they are LOVED!!! Don't worry about the small stuff -- just enjoy this time with your babies! You are doing a wonderful job!
You'll get in a routine. I think our mom's are very alike. My mother would probably say the same thing. I wonder how hard it was for her when I was a toddler and she had Brad. I somehow picture her saying "I don't remember." Hahaha... I think it'll be a great thing for you to be with your parents for a while. An extra set of hands to burp L and put her to sleep while you're out in the yard with M will come in handy :). Of course, it will be another adjustment...
I think you are a total trooper. I only have a husband to take care of and I feel like I've lost my brains some days. I think you are doing a great job!
Umm, I just wanted to remind you that you got your family pictures taken with a...what, 2 week old? That is brave!!! Give yourself a break. You are an awesome mom. It's going to take some time to get it together in terms of juggling 2 precious girls...but you'll do it with the Lord's help. Just don't forget to take care of yourself along the way, too!
Today you are frazzled, but in just a few tomorrows you will be looking back, longing for the days of young motherhood. It's funny how, in retrospect, things don't feel so overwhelming once you have conquered them.
Remember that "Yesterday is but a dream, and tomorrow only a vision. Look well, therefore, to THIS day."
This makes me nervous! Mine is about to come and I know I will be feeling the exact same way "head above water". I wish we lived closer so we could help each other lol! You are doing a great job though. Heavnly Father is so proud of you guys and all you are doing for these sweet kids of yours!
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