Warning: I'm ranting here. If you don't want to hear it, now would be a good time to scroll down and click on a link to another blog and see what's going on in their lives... :)
Yesterday I read some cleaver little snid-bit about
"To the woman who..." has 6+ screaming kids in a certain store, if you're wondering who put the box of condoms in the cart, it's from me. You're welcome.
I can't tell you how irritating that statement is to me. When did our society become such that when there is some poor mother struggling in the store to buy who know what, that instead of offering her a smile, or some other kind of help, we chuck a box of condoms at her because obviously she doesn't know how to use them. I know it's all hypothetical...but fine...let's be hypothetical here. Did no one stop to think what could be so important that a mother would take 6 kids in a bad mood to a store? I have 3, and let me tell you it has to be pretty important to take them all to the store by myself. And yet if this woman does venture out with what is now an abnormally large brood, she is rightfully to be ridiculed and made fun of? When did the size of a family become anyone's business. When did our society become "okay" with the man who has 6 children by a variety of different women, yet scorns the same man and woman who willingly welcomed 6 or more children in their home?
(I can feel my irritation ebbing away as I post this, so maybe it's good I'm getting this out because I was so irritated last night that I couldn't sleep).
I know I'm a little sensitive to this because we want a really large family. And guess what? We're college educated. We know how birth control works. We're making a choice. This is our decision, and I respect other's right to make their own choices about their families. Why is it though that once a family reaches a certain largeness in size, it becomes public domain to ridicule.
Heads up. We want 6 or more kids. Maybe 8. And if they were all girls, I would LOVE that. It doesn't matter to us. We're not having more in pursuit of a boy.
We believe children are a beautiful blessing from the Lord, not a liability. We are thoughtful and prayerful about the children we bring into this world. Not careless...even if it seems careless to others. We believe the Lord provides a way, and we could not be where we are without the incredible blessings of the Lord.
I wish we could be a little more thoughtful in this world. A little more respectful. More kind. The above statement is not funny to me. It's mean. It's hurtful. And I really hope it's not something a person would really succumb to...because that's just sad.
5 comments:
Thank you for this post!
It is no exaggeration when I say that EVERY time I go out and about with my three little ones on my own I hear comments from random strangers. Usually it is a long the lines of, "wow, your hands full" as they give me a look of pity. Sometimes I muster the courage enough to retort: "if you think my hands are full you should see my heart".
I did have one last week at the grocery store when a woman came up to me and said "don't have any more children" (and my kids were being super well behaved too!) and then she just walked off. I was dumbfounded.
Once in a while I'll get a comment that is so sweet and encouraging. I try to remember those ones instead of the others. When we were at the park in November a woman came up to me and said "I've been watching you with your children and I can tell you are an amazing mother. I hope God blesses you with more because children need a mother like you." Her sweet comment has made me want to do the same for others.
And I'm glad you and Mr. N want a large family. The same can be said of you two, children need to come to homes like yours. Plus, y'all make ADORABLE babies :D
I find it tacky too. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I admire your words and feelings and courage. And I appreciate the way you spoke of how much consideration you give to your choice and make it clear that it is a decision between you, Mr. N and Heavenly Father. Just as Elder Andersen's talk states. Beautiful post, even if you felt like you were ranting ;).
totally agree!!! The fact that people think that way about larger families is one thing, the sadest part is that they actually think that they should say something to a mother in the store. It's non of their business and they should keep their own opinion for themself. I agree with the comments above, we need lot more women like you!!!! Kind, prayerful and loving. I miss you my dear friend!!!!
I wish you could see the steam coming out of my ears right now. I HATE people that do this kind of thing. And I mean, sincerely, HATE it. Grrrrr.....
NOBODY, but God has the right to make suggestions about when or how many children you should have.
AMEN!!!!! That statement makes my blood boil too!!!! Well said.
Post a Comment