Goodbye 20s

A few months ago I was thinking of my twenties coming to an end and how little I've done in my life...mainly centered around the world's yard stick of not ever having had a career in my field of study (Marriage, Family & Human Development) and therefore not really having been successful in any way. I know, I know...as I write that I think, 'Well, I am married, I have a family, and I watch human development every day,' but it was mainly in terms of not having gone back for my Master's Degree yet and launching a career that would bring income to our household. I check boxes all the time listing my level of education: Bachelor’s Degree, and then Occupation: N/A or Mother. And yes, I've allowed myself to sometimes think that I am 'only a mother'. That's something I told myself I'd never do, but frequently do think when I converse with those women who are, by the world standards, quite successful. I allow myself to sometimes feel second class. But the truth is that I choose motherhood…to be a stay at home mom. Fortunately we have been blessed to be in a situation where that is still possible. It does come as quite a sacrifice financially, being that Mr. N is a full time student and there is very little coming in, but it is a blessing every day to be home with my children. I grew up with my mother always having to work, and always wanted so much for her to be at home with us. I feel fortunate to be able to be home with our little ones.

One of my favorite quotes was given by President James E. Faust, who was a member of the first Presidency in our church. He said:

"Women today are being encouraged by some to have it all--generally, all simultaneously: money, travel, marriage, motherhood, and separate careers in the world.... Doing things sequentially--filling roles one at a time at different times--is not always possible, as we know, but it gives a woman the opportunity to do each thing well in its time and to fill a variety of roles in her life.... [A woman] may fit more than one career into the various seasons of life. She need not try to sing all the verses of her song at the same time" (James E Faust, September 1986, A message to my granddaughters: Becoming ""great women," Ensign, 16(9), 18, 19).

I love that quote because it reminds me that yes, we can have it all…but not necessarily all at once, or even all within this lifetime. We have so much to be grateful for.

Tomorrow I turn 30. That’s weird to say. Mainly because I just don’t feel that old. My hairs are getting grayer, and I do notice a bit more limitations with my body like needing to stretch more before exercise and getting heartburn with fried foods, but overall I still feel like a kid. A kid with more experience I guess. Looking back though, I have accomplished quite a lot. I was able to serve as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (to learn more about our beliefs visit http://mormon.org/). I came home and married my sweet husband. I received my Associates Degree from Utah State University and my Bachelor’s Degree from Brigham Young University. I worked on a Technical Support line for diabetic meter company for 2 years…a major feat given I hated every minute of it! I gave birth to our first daughter at the age of 25, our second at the age of 26, and our third at the age of 29. And I’ve supported my husband through 6 years of education. 19 months left…and counting!!! I don’t mean this to be a “pat my back” session, it’s just nice to know that looking back I was able to accomplish some major things.

Looking forward I know we will be undertaking some of the most important years of our live…that of raising our beautiful children and hopefully being able to welcome more into our family. I read or heard somewhere once that a parent said “Before having children I had no children and 3 theories. Now I have 3 theories and no children.” I guess all we can try to do is our best. Thankfully children are resilient.

So, good-bye to my 20s and hopefully we all survive the 30s. It will be exciting to see what the next decade will bring for our family. Mr. N will be joining me in the 30s in 6 months.

P.S. I like October. It’s so much cooler and our electric bill has dropped significantly.