Our Newest Addition

Baby Girl E is finally here!

Tuesday started out as a fairly uneventful day.  My big “to do” was grocery shopping…which I got done early.  Going back though, I’d been a little concerned about our baby girl since about Saturday, when I noticed a decrease in the amount of her movement.  She had always been an extremely active baby, especially right before bed time.  I was “that pregnant woman” that you could sit and watch my belly dance around.  Starting about Saturday, though, her movements decreased a lot from her normal.  She still moved a bit, I would say a normal amount compared to my other pregnancies, but for her it was less.  At night she would still get very active, so I wasn’t sure if I was being paranoid or not.  Monday afternoon I decided to call the Ob to see what they thought.  I still was very set on not being induced, but didn’t want to be negligent to my baby.  It was about 2 hours before closing so I wasn’t surprised when they didn’t call me back.  After grocery shopping on Tuesday I got the call back.  The nurse asked questions and basically left it in my hands.  “If you’re concerned you’re far enough along to just go to Labor & Delivery and get the baby checked out.”  I knew if I went they’d offer to induce me.  I was already 3 cm with my 3^rd baby, and those are very “favorable” circumstances.  I went home and called my sister to see what she thought.  I didn’t want to call Mr. N because I was sure I was being paranoid and didn’t want to bother him at school.  After talking to my sister I decided it was probably best to make sure.  I called some wonderful friends here who arranged to watch Miss L and pick up M from school if I wasn’t back in time.  I brought my hospital bag with me just in case.  I remembered vividly how unprepared I felt going in for a checkup with M’s pregnancy and being admitted to deliver with nothing but my purse.  So anyways, I drove to the hospital and they admitted me to monitor the baby.  On the drive over I was really unsure about the decision to go in, but I felt really calm that I was doing the right thing.  The baby sounded really good on the monitor, which was a huge relief.  I was having sporadic contractions which I really couldn’t feel and was disappointed that I was still only 3 cm, especially since I’d walked about 15 miles in the past 4 days.  The doctor then did an ultrasound to see the baby’s movement, organs and fluid levels.  She said everything looked good and left to consult with another doctor.  I was hoping she would strip my membranes before I left at least, to help “move things along.”  She came back in after a while and said that they were reviewing the information on my fluid levels and that they were actually to the almost critically low point (she told me they were okay).  There was a lot of concern for the baby, but not enough to leave me no choice.  It was up to me whether I wanted to stay and have the baby.  At that time I decided it was time to call Mr. N and consult with him. 

We decided that since there was concern for the baby we’d go ahead with the induction.  I didn’t want to induce, but the safety of the baby was more important.  I felt calm about the decision.  They started me on Pitocin at about 1:30 pm and I felt the contractions getting stronger, but they still didn’t hurt.  It didn’t take long to get to a 4, but for me I spend all day at a 4 & 5, then dilate instantly.  I kept telling the doctors and nurses that, but I don’t think they believed me on the “instantly” part.  They broke my water to help strengthen the contractions, and that’s when I noticed the fluid was a dark mustardy color.  I knew that wasn’t good, but the doctor hadn’t said anything to me (or I missed it).  I asked the nurse about it and she told me that the doctor said it looked like the baby had a small amount of meconium in the fluid.  My heart sank because I knew that wasn’t good.  Mr. N had been with me for a while, but at that point I had sent him home to arrange things for the girls for the night.  I called him crying because I was so worried about our little girl.  I also called my mom and asked for her prayers.  It wasn’t long after that that the contractions got a lot stronger, but not unmanageable.  It was right about the time Mr. N returned (he’d been gone a little more than an hour) that I started needing help to manage the contractions.  Mr. N was amazing.  He was such a great help emotionally and physically.  There’s no way I could have done it without him.  After an hour or so of hard contractions I got checked again and was so disappointed that I was still a 4.  It was about 6-ish at that point.  Over the next hour the contractions got really really intense.  They were right on top of each other and so painful.  At about a quarter after 7 I felt like I couldn’t go on.  I knew I had to have at least 2 hours ahead of me and just felt I couldn’t handle the contractions any more.  It was only because of Mr. N I had even made it through the last hour.  He was so encouraging and knew that I really wanted to do this without a epidural.  He respected my decision though and I held on to the glimmer of hope that it was almost over (the pain). 

They called the anesthesiologist, but he didn’t come right away.  I kept asking where he was, and apparently he was outside the room, waiting for the attending physician (He was a resident and couldn’t do it without being observed).  At that point I started having some pretty ugly thoughts towards the guy outside the room.  The pain was so intense I felt like I was losing control of being able to do things to manage it.  I know I was a lot more rude than normal towards people...I kept saying “what is taking him SO LONG!”  Finally, after forever he came in and started setting up his instruments r-e-a-l-l-y s-l-o-w-l-y.  He was still waiting for the attending physician and I guess he must have heard my complaints so wanted to appear to be doing something.  That only made me want to grab one of his shinny, sterile instruments and stick them somewhere where it would cause him maximal pain…and then maybe he’d begin to sympathize with me.  By this time the contractions were right on top of each other.  I felt like I barely had 30 seconds between contractions.  I wish someone had thought to have me checked, but they were really firm about only checking only 2 hours to decrease chances of uterine infection.  I told them through the whole process that I go really quick at the end, but no one really seemed to take me seriously.  Anyways, at this point I was completely relying on Mr. N, who kept telling me to just focus on the one contraction.  I was crying because it hurt so bad and just kept saying I couldn’t do it anymore.   Finally the attending anesthesiologist arrived and the process began.  Having to hold the position they needed to do the epidural was torture.  For whatever reason, he couldn’t get the needle in the right spot to do it.  It must have been 20 minutes, and I just wanted to scream at the attending to just do it himself and I wasn’t in the mood to be practiced on.  That last bit was interesting because I felt like I was all inside my head…and I was above my body looking down on myself holding on to the nurse and Mr. N…yet at the same time I was holding on to Mr. N’s arm so tight that I was sure I was hurting him.  Maybe that’s what happens when the pain is so intense…you detach.  Anyways, all of the sudden I felt this tremendous pressure and yelled out that I needed to push.  I have no idea what happened with the people around me.  I rolled on my side and pushed.  That was the first time I felt what they call “the ring of fire”.  I was sure I was going to explode, then felt her head come out…though I don’t think anyone but Mr. N was next to me at that point.  Mr. N told me the nurse and the attending anesthesiologist ran to get gloves.  The resident anesthesiologist told me to turn on my back (he was the only one with gloves on at that point) and told me to push.  I pushed and couldn’t believe that the baby wasn’t out yet.  It was a hard push, but not long.  I had felt that this baby was much bigger than my previous girls (5 lbs 14 oz and 6 lbs 10 oz) and reasoned that was why.  They kept telling me to push and I gave a series of 3 short/hard pushes (I was still afraid I was going to explode for some reason) and felt her shoot out.  The anesthesiologist caught her.

They were suppose to have a neonatal team there for her delivery because of the meconium, but that didn’t happen.  There wasn’t even an ob there.  At that point I completely checked out.  I don’t know if my body was in shock, or what, but I had to keep my eyes closed because I couldn’t focus on anything at all and I just shook all over.  I didn’t even get a chance to see the baby…not because I wouldn’t have been able to…but because I just couldn’t focus on anything.  Mr. N said the room was suddenly full of people and the took the baby away to check her/clean her up.  I heard someone say, “She’s just a little peanut” and thought they must be wrong because she was a huge baby.  Trust me, I pushed her out!  I was vaguely aware that there were 3 people working on me while one of the ob’s from the office where my midwife worked oversaw and spoke to me.  Two of them had to hold my legs because I was shaking so bad while the other sewed me up.  Someone…the nurse I think…commented that I hadn’t been kidding when I said I went quick at the end.  I could hear the baby crying and at one point I lifted myself up slightly and glanced at her.  She was far across the room from me and I saw her little flailing legs and arms and the fact that she was very red/pink.  I asked Mr. N if she looked like the other girls, and he laughed and said yes.  I also asked how much she weighed and they told me she was 6 lbs 9 oz(I was still having trouble opening my eyes and focusing).  I think the normal series of events that takes place after a baby is born got skewed by the unexpected suddenness of the birth.  I felt like I was having to ask all the things they normally just tell you.  They did tell me that she got a 9 at the 1 minute and 10 at the 5 minute on her apgar.  I laughed said she got that from my side of the family because Mr. N doesn’t test well.  After about an hour the shaking calmed down and they asked if I was ready to hold her.  Up until that point it just wasn’t a possibility for me.  They brought her over so I could hold her skin-to-skin.  My first impression was that she looked almost exactly like M did when she was born…and she was so tiny!  Her head was perfectly round…not misshapen at all by time spent in the birth canal considering mom dilated from 4 or 5 to 10 and then delivered in minutes.  I tried nursing her but she seemed to kind of struggle with that so we gave up on it for the time and just cuddled.  She was born at 8:39 pm at night.  And was about 18-18 ½ inches at birth.  We’re so glad our new little girl was brought safely into this world, despite the scare of meconium in the fluid and low fluid levels.

**I should add that in retrospect I'm glad the epidural didn't take because I did make it through without, even if that wasn't my intention.  My prayer and hope during this pregnancy was that I would be able to have our baby without medical pain intervention, and I did do it.  I feel like it was an answer to prayer that it didn't work because it showed me I could do it and the Lord knew that was what I wanted.  The Lord really  does know what we can handle even when we don't.  Now, with the next I'll have a better understanding of where I am based on the pain and what I've already gone through.  I'll know that when I get to the point I can't take it any more that I'll be almost done.  I do think that last bit would have been a tiny bit easier to handle if I hadn't needed to maintain the "hunched" position for so long to allow the needle in my back, but oh well.  I did it without pain medications, so despite my not so kind feelings towards the doctor at the time, I'm glad things went the way they went!

Of course M and L are so excited about their little sister.  L especially wants me to take a picture of her holding her baby sister several times a day.  We're so glad to have her as part of our family and excited to continue to get to know her.